I just pynch a tree in the face
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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