all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
