really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
