One girl and one boy is just not enough.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
