PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
