I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
