we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
