i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
