so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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