he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I can't turn off my feet"
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
