Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
