You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
