She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
