At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
