is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
