im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
