Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
