didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
