Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
