She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
