all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
