We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
porn star boner night. come get it.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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