Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
