Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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