ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
