Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Randomize
