did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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