thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
