hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
