i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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