stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
