I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
