But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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