So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
