Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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