I just cut my nipple shaving
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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