So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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