very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
