Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I wear drunk well.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
