I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Randomize
