Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
