Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
