No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Randomize
