i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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