Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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