just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Randomize
