You just made me feel so damn special
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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