Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
