giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
