i think my mom watched the whole time
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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