What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
no you cant smoke seaweed
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
