What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Never joke about your clitoris.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
