It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
